Don't go
by Sarrabr4
Summary: Okay so this is based on my gutted reaction to hearing of the departure of Jon Seda as Antonio Dawson on Chicago PD. I'm letting my imagination run wild on this one and there will be some Brettonio in there too
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

**A/N: Okay so tonight, I found out, just like the rest of everyone else that Jon Seda was exiting Chicago PD as Antonio at the end of this season, citing creative differences over the character. I still haven't been able to wrap my head around it and with his official post now confirming it, my heart hurts even more...And I know that he won't be coming back except if a miracle happens, this is my therapy to cope with it.**

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Sylvie walked the halls of Med and passed by Kyle's office, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It had been weeks since he had broken up with her but her heart still ached. She couldn't understand why she couldn't keep a man but the one that truly hurt was Antonio. When she had managed to get her thoughts and emotions in order, he had sprung a blind date on her and her heart still hadn't completely recovered from it. She stopped at the nurse's station and started filling up her report. Her head was down and she kept at her task and tried to block out the sound but when the doors to the ED slid open, a voice cut through her concentration.

"What do you mean Antonio's leaving town?" Kim Burgess was the owner of the voice, Adam Ruzek at her side.

"I was just as surprised as you are darling but Voight all but confirmed it."

"Well he's left before and he's come back, maybe he'll hate wherever he's going and he'll be back." Sylvie could see the panic on Burgess's face as she was guided towards Baghdad by Adam.

"Shit." Sylvie cursed under her breath when she realized that she was filling her paperwork all wrong. She started all over and as soon as she was out the door, Foster was driving them back to the house. She hopped off as soon as Foster was backed up, not even bothering to wait for the engine to be killed off. She marched through the common room where she didn't see Casey and went to look for him in his office where she found him. "Did you know that Antonio is leaving town?" Casey looked up startled from his incident report.

"Come again?" Matt turned the chair to face her and give her his full attention.

"Did you know that Antonio was leaving town?"

"I haven't talked to Antonio since Gabby left town." Truth was that the last time that Matt had been in close contact with Antonio, Antonio had given him a piece of his mind about letting his sister get away once again only for Matt to throw back at him what really went down and how Gabby was the one who had done the leaving and they hadn't spoken since.

"Okay, thanks." Sylvie was about to leave but Matt stopped her.

"Hey Brett?" She turned around to face him. "Is everything okay?" They had gotten closer since Gabby had left for Puerto Rico and Matt valued her friendship and he wanted to make sure she was okay.

"Yeah, everything is good." Matt didn't miss the anger that was laced in her voice, knowing the new piece of information she had given him was the reason for it. She turned around and left the bunk area to go back to re-stock the ambo.

Foster came into the common room only to find Sylvie missing from there too.

"Has anyone seen Brett?" She asked the rest of the team and everyone shook their heads in the negative before they returned to their occupations, leaving her to find her PIC.

Sylvie was furiously writing on the inventory paper as she made sure that they wouldn't be missing anything for the next time they would be called out. It was usually a job Foster would do but she was looking for a way to distract her mind from the bomb that had been un-intentionally dropped in her lap. It only took one memory for her to lose all the anger she was holding onto. She didn't have the right to act like that he was hers so she tried to let it go.

"There you are." The ambo doors opened so fast that Sylvie barely had time to look up.

"I wanted to re-stock the ambo." She told Foster, her eyes returning in the paper in her lap.

"Something is bothering you since we came back to Med and I can see that it's hurting you so if you want to talk, I'm here for you." They had gotten extremely close since she had arrived at 51 and she knew that she could tell her anything but she didn't know if she was ready to share her feelings about Antonio's departure.

"Yeah, thanks." Foster eyes her for a few more seconds before she closed the ambo doors again, leaving Brett to her inner turmoil.

Kim and Adam walked back into the bullpen after interrogating the patient at Med and Antonio was the only one at his desk. Kim looked into Voight's office but he wasn't there. The two exchanged looks while Antonio stayed hunched over his file. She debated going over for confirmation directly from him but the other part of her didn't want to know.

"Out with it Burgess, I know that you want to." Antonio finally looked up when the staring was becoming too much.

"Can we do this somewhere more private?" She was aware that Adam was the only one in the bullpen but she wanted a bit of privacy in case things turned ugly.

"Break room." He stood and she followed behind him. "What do you want to know?" He leaned against the counter and kept his arms crossed over his chest.

"Is it true?"

"It is." He could see that she wasn't accepting as simple an explanation as he was giving.

"Are you really gonna let me pull it out of you Tonio?" She huffed.

"I've been courted by SVU in New York and I'm leaving there at the end of the week."

"But why? This is your unit Antonio, you can't just leave."

"After everything that's happened here." He alluded to his addiction and what had happened to Eva subsequently, Chicago was toxic and when the opportunity had presented itself, he couldn't pass it up. "It's for the best Kim."

"How can you say that?" She didn't know it would hurt her so much to hear it coming out of his mouth but it cut right to her heart. "I haven't learned everything from you Tonio, Who's going to tell me when I screwed up and teach me to do things the right way huh?"

"You're doing a great job Kim, you don't need me to show you anything."

"That's not true Antonio and you know it." She had tried to keep the tears at bay but she was failing miserably.

"You can call me any time you want." He was lying if he said he wouldn't miss the people from this unit. They were family and Kim was had been the only partner since Jules that connected with him on the same level. They had each other's back and no amount of distance would change that.

"That won't be the same." She wiped a stray tear with the back of her hand and Antonio pulled her into his chest.

"It's what's best for me and my family." He whispered in her ear. He had already gotten into contact with a facility to be able to continue his therapy in New York and a new place was already lines up for him.

"This place will never be the same without you." She held onto his shirt tightly as she inhaled his scent.

"And you'll all be in here." He pointed towards his heart.

"Just don't be a stranger." She sniffled, forcing a smile onto her face.

"Promise and send me the invite for yours and Ruzek's wedding." He winked at her.

"Will do." They both turned at the sound of Adam's voice. Kim looked at him and they both smiled. They were nowhere near ready to get married but they were definitely on the right track this time. "So what's next?" She asked him as Adam made his way to them, wrapping an arm around Kim's shoulder.

"The house is packed and ready to go. Eva is already at NYU and Diego will come join me when the school year ends."

"And what about this place?"

"I'm closing all my outstanding cases and I have to take care of my CI files before Voight re-assign them."

"That'll keep you occupied all week. Who's going to ride with me?"

"Jay." Antonio smiled at her. "I trust him and the two of you will work well together."

"It won't be the same."

"You're in good hands." He promised. They heard the rest of the unit come up the stairs and the three of them returned to the bullpen.

"Alright so I need a few minutes of your attention." Voight called everyone to attention. They knew what was about to be said. "I'll leave the floor to Antonio." He stuffed his hands in his pockets as everyone turned to listen to Antonio.

"I know that the rumours have been going around but I wanted to set the record straight." He was suddenly nervous. "No one knows about this but Voight but I have been courted by the team at SVU in New York and in the light of everything that's happened in the past few months with my addiction and Eva's abduction, I have decided to accept their offer to join them."

"So you're leaving?" Jay couldn't believe that he hadn't heard about this before.

"At the end of this week." He exchanged a look with Voight and ignored Kim's stares. He wasn't expecting this to be so hard but Intelligence had become family. He looked at Hailey and they smiled at each other, having a silent understanding that she would look after Jay.

"So that's it? No way we can change your mind?" Jay was getting angry. First Erin had left and now Antonio was going. If it hadn't been for him, he never would have been in this unit to begin with.

"I've given it a good amount of though and it's hard for me too Jay because you're family but it's best for me and my family." Jay was about to add more but he cut him off. "Eva is transferring to NYU and Diego is going to stay with Laura until the end of the school year and then he's going to come live with me there."

"And you're just going to let him go?" He was pissed at Voight for not fighting to keep him in the team.

"This isn't my decision to make Jay and it's not yours either. Antonio didn't take that decision lightly and I expect everyone to support him and have his back like we always do." Voight would have preferred to keep him in Chicago but Antonio had taken the best decision for him and his family.

"I won't be too far and I won't disappear from the face of the earth." He walked to Jay and patted him on the arm. "You're the best decision I made Jay and that's not going to change."

"And who's going to be Burgess's partner?" He questioned, wondering why Kim wasn't flipping as much as he was and Antonio simply smirked.

"I trust you to have her back." Jay looked from Antonio to Kim and she smiled at him.

"Just don't let the man down would you?" She tried to lighten the mood.

"I won't, you have my word." They shook hands and Antonio pulled him in for hug.

"Alright, we have a case to wrap up. Antonio isn't gone just yet." Antonio was thankful for Voight because this was becoming harder for him. Everyone scattered and they took care of solving the case so they could get this day over.

Antonio turned his computer off for the evening after everyone was gone. These last few days had hectic and he was looking forward to unwind. He hadn't been to Molly's in a while but being that Eva and Diego were at Laura's, he had a little bit of free time and he needed to get out of the house.

"You going to Molly's?" Jay questioned him on his way out.

"Yeah, I'll see you in a few." The whole floor was basked in the setting sun, just a few lamps turned on. He took a deep breath while he looked around both his hands clapped together. He remembered the first time he had set foot up here, back when he hadn't known about Voight heading the unit. His parents had been proud of his promotion and he had celebrated with friends at Molly's. So many things had happened up here and he knew he would miss it, the good and the bad. He stood and grabbed his coat before he walked out of the district towards his car. He drove to Molly's with his thoughts and he suddenly missed Gabby. They hadn't talked since he first told her about what had been going on and he hadn't told her about the decision he had made about leaving town. He walked inside Molly's and spotted the rest of the unit. He flagged Otis for a beer and joined the rest of the group.

Sylvie walked back into her place and took a much needed shower. Her mind was in a jumbled mess since learning of Antonio's departure and she wondered if she would even see him before he left. She didn't know anything about the where and the why and part of her was maybe hoping that they wouldn't cross paths, perhaps helping the strain she had on her heart. She showered and changed before she drove towards Molly's, having agreed to a girls night out with Stella and Emily. She walked in and spotted them right away laughing at the bar to something Otis was telling them.

"Hey girls." She smiled at them and Stella pulled her into a hug.

"There's my girl." She laughed. "About time you decided to join us."

"I'm only staying for a few drinks." She insisted.

"Aww come on, don't be such a party pooper." Stella ordered shots for them and she kept ordering, knowing Brett needed to take her mind off everything.

Antonio came off of his stool as Atwater was entertaining the group and he made his way through the crowded bar to get to Herrmann and Otis. As much as he was enjoying one of his last evenings in town, he wanted to get a little more into his system in the hopes of drowning a bit of the noise in his head. He made it closer but hadn't noticed the trio of girls at the bar. He moved past another person and a blonde came off her stool and bumped straight into him.

"I'm sorry." She giggled until her eyes met his. "Antonio."

"Sylvie." He looked in her eyes and wasn't expecting his heart to skip a beat. He had spent the better part of the last year trying to get her out of his head and out of his heart so he could try to move on but clearly he hadn't succeeded as well as he thought. "Can we talk?"

"I don't think it's a good idea." They were suddenly alone, the girls having seen the whole thing and wanting to give them a bit of privacy.

"Just a few minutes, please?" He spotted a rare empty table at the end of the bar.

"Okay." He guided her through the crowd and let her sit down before he took a seat in front of her.

"I wanted you to hear the news from me." He started, not knowing how he would spill the news to her.

"You're leaving town." To say that Antonio was surprised was an understatement. "I overheard Burgess and Ruzek at the hospital when we dropped off a victim but they didn't know I was there."

"Sylvie, I didn't mean for you to find out like that."

"You don't owe me anything Antonio, we're not together anymore."

"That doesn't mean I don't care about you anymore. I never stopped." He placed his hand on hers and was surprised that she didn't pull it away.

"You can't tell me that when you're about to leave town Antonio." She pulled her hand away as if his was suddenly burning and standing up. "You made your choice and now you can't take it back."

"Come with me then." He declared, standing up and facing her.

"You can't ask me to do that Antonio, my life is here." She pulled away from the hand he held to her elbow and pushed through the crowd, disappearing from view.

Once again, Sylvie Brett was slipping out of his grasp and out of his life, this time maybe for good.

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**A/N: Okay so I intended this to be a one shot because I couldn't bare the thought of losing Antonio but I wanted to do it on my own terms. But if there's one thing most of you know about me is that I am a sucker when it comes to writing and I can't stop myself and two of my good friends Emily and Mandi goaded me into making this a multi-chapter fic by giving me more ideas than I asked for when I came to a wall as to WHY Antonio would leave Chicago so here is the first of I don't know how many chapters. I hope you guys liked it and please take a few seconds to review before you go because this chapter was emotional for me to write and I would like to hear your thoughts about it - Sarra**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

**A/N: I wasn't expecting the reception of the first chapter of this story so thank you to everyone who read and reviewed it. Here's the next one that picks up minutes after the first one ends.**

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Sylvie walked into her place and slammed the door shut. She was pacing her living room, mumbling to herself. His words were playing over and over in a loop In her head, confusing her even more. She had tried to forget all about him after his mention of the blind date and for the most part it had worked. She had gotten in a relationship with the CFD chaplain and the pain she felt from the break-up only proved to strengthen the fact that she was over Antonio Dawson but one interaction and four words later and all those feelings were back In her heart and she didn't know what to do anymore. The knock on her door interrupted her thoughts and she swung the door open to reveal Stella and Emily on the other side.

"Oh my god Sylvie you're okay." Emily threw herself on Sylvie, wrapping both arms around her waist

"Why the hell did you leave like that?" Stella has lost sight of her friend and she had freaked out.

"I couldn't stay in there anymore." Emily finally released her from her grasp.

"One minute you're talking to that hottie detective and the next you were nowhere to be seen." Emily continued Stella's rant.

"I thought I could do it, talk to him." Sylvie had returned to her pacing and Emily gave Stella a puzzled look.

"They dated and it was HOT!" This warranted an eye roll from Sylvie but Stella simply continued. "He's Gabby's brother."

"Ohhh." Emily has heard about him but had never crossed paths with him. "And what's wrong with talking to him again? You and the chaplain are over."

"He's leaving town that's why!"

"Shit, when, why?" It was the first time that she heard about that one.

"I don't know. I found out at Med beginning of shift but I wasn't supposed to hear it. I heard Burgess and Ruzek from PD talk about it and Antonio told me at Molly's tonight."

"And what did you say?"

"I said that he didn't owe me anything, that we weren't dating anymore."

"Aw damn. That's tough." Stella knew that she still loved him no matter what she said.

"He said that he still scared about me, that he never stopped loving me since."

"That's so sweet." Emily gushed.

"It's not sweet Foster, he's leaving." She was growing increasingly frustrated with her friend's bubbly attitude as she continued her own pacing under their stares.

"Is there anything you can do or say to make him stay?" Stella was feeling for her friend.

"No, he's leaving at the end of this week."

"Come on Sylvie, you have to at least try."

"He asked me to go with him." She blurted our, suddenly stopping her pacing, leaving the girls she'll shocked.

Antonio stood in shock in the same spot Sylvie had left him. He hadn't expected himself to ask her to follow him to New York but the thought of losing her had pushed him to do something big, take a leap.

"Antonio, brother, you okay?" Antonio snapped out of it at the sound of Adam's voice.

"I'm not sure." He blinked a few times, trying to get his thoughts in order.

"I saw you talking to Brett and then she bumped into me on her way out, she looked upset."

"I asked her to come with me to New York."

"Damn, and what did she say?"

"Her life is here. I blew it man."

"You love her yeah?" Adam had seen a slight shift in Antonio after Sylvie had broken up with him last but he had watched him bury himself into work and gone on that blind date Kevin had set him up with, he knew what that meant. The man was still in love with Sylvie Brett and he always would be.

"I tried to push her out of here after the last time." He was pointing at his heart. "That was my biggest mistake."

"Than go fix it." Adam put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't do the same stupid mistakes I did." His eyes fell on Kim and they smiled at each other. They were finally good and he was finally at peace for the first time in a long while.

"You're right, thanks Ruz." Antonio pulled him in a hug and then his pushed his way out of Molly's and he drove straight for Sylvie's place. He climbed the stairs two at a time and he had no idea what he wanted to say to her but he had to at least try. He knocked on the door and nervously waited, his hands deep in his pockets.

"What do you mean he asked you to go with him?" Stella asked a few seconds later after shaking the shock off.

"He asked me to go to New York with him." Sylvie was now breathing heavily. "I can't go to New York, my life is here." Her little rant was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"You waiting for someone?" Emily looked at Brett.

"No." Sylvie was confused as well and she walked to her door, still looking at the girls so she didn't look who was on the other side of the door. "Hello." She was now face to face with Antonio and the girls were about to have a front row to the whole thing.

"I couldn't let you walk out of my life again, I want us to be together." Sylvie was so stunned that she was rooted in place and suddenly Antonio was mere inches from her, his right hand hovering over her hip. "I love you Sylvie Brett." And his lips finally found hers. After the initial shock, Sylvie's fingers slipped through his hair and she was kissing him as if her life depended on it.

Stella could only smirk at the sight and Emily was blinking rapidly, a lazy smile on my face. It was undeniable that they had physical chemistry and Sylvie's body language told her that she felt safe with him. Kidd nudged Forster and she cleared her throat.

"Sorry to interrupt but I think we'll leave the two of you alone to talk." Sylvie had turned a few shades redder.

"Thanks for coming to check up on her." Antonio refused to let his fingers move away from Sylvie's body by sheer fear that she would disappear if he did.

"Anytime." Kids smiled back at him. "And We will see you next shift." She pulled Foster by the arm and both Sylvie and Antonio moved to let them trough.

"Sorry I interrupted your girls night."

"It's okay." She couldn't stop the smile on her lips and her beating heart if she tried. "I'm sorry I freaked out. I just wasn't expecting you to ask me that." She was rambling already and he smiled before he kissed her again, trying to calm her down a bit. The kiss only helped to quicken her heartbeat and when Antonio raised the side of her top and pulled it over her head, she abandoned herself to him, throwing caution to the wind. His tongue slipped through her lips as his hands found top button of her pants, his shirt already discarded on the ground. Sylvie giggled when her back hit the mattress, Antonio pulling her pants from her legs and throwing them over his shoulder. He was in no way looking to waste any time, he wanted to be with her as long as he could if she didn't agree to jump with both feet in, something he would in no way blame her if that was the case. He made love to her and commit every inch of her body he could to his memory.

They lay in bed later, Sylvie's body tangled with Antonio's and he was running his fingers through her hair, complete silence between the two. Sylvie enjoyed the beating of his heart and she wanted to enjoy every second of it. She closed her eyes and finally decided to speak.

"Don't go." It was a mere whisper but he caught it nonetheless.

"I wish it were that simple." He kissed the top of her head.

"What's so complicated that you can't stay?" She finally pulled herself away and propped herself on her arms to look him in the eyes. She hadn't been in his orbit in so long and she no longer knew anything about his life.

He closed his eyes and took a minute to get his thoughts in order. It was the first time he would talk about it outside of rehab and to Sylvie no less and some part of him was ashamed of it.

"I got an injury to my shoulder on a case and I got hooked on opioids."

"Antonio." Her eyes suddenly filled with worry, knowing there was more to the story.

"Don't do that, I don't deserve it."

"You can talk to me, you know that right?" She could sense his reluctance to talk about it but she needed him to know she was a safe place for him to talk about it.

"I was so angry and the doctor wouldn't give me more and because I was so far gone, I got Eva kidnapped and I went on the job impaired and angry as hell and I wasn't thinking straight and I fucked up, I fucked everything up." He was refusing to look her in the eye when he admitted it all.

"It doesn't mean that you can't move forward, move past it. Stay here and we can get past all of this together." Her eyes were now filled with tears and she bit her lower lip to stop it from trembling.

"It's not that simple." He sat up so he was closer to her. "There's more to this that I can't talk about but it's for the best. Eva is transferring to NYU and I found a program in New York to continue rehab and Diego wants to come at the end of the school year."

"And what was tonight about huh? Just one last hurrah before you put Chicago in your rear view mirror?" She was trying to find an excuse to be angry with him now.

"No, that is not what this is." He scooted closer to her and put his hand on her thigh. "I've tried denying it, I tried dating again and I've tried lying to myself but someone reminded me how stupid I was to let you go and I meant it when I asked you to come with me, with us. I love you Sylvie and I'm done letting past mistakes get in the way of what I want and that's you."

"Antonio, it's all too much."

"You don't have to decide tonight." He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm leaving on Saturday morning and I hope to god that you'll come with us but if you don't, I'll still love you no matter what and we can figure something out." She nodded through her tears.

"Hold me." That was her only request for the night. She knew she had to figure out what she wanted but tonight wasn't it. He cupped her cheeks and kissed her tenderly. He pulled her down with him as they kissed and he held her until she fell asleep. He propped himself on his hand and watched her sleep. She was curled into his side and she fit there perfectly and as he ran his fingers through her hair, he imagined the rest of his life with her and he hoped that she would give a real though to his offer to follow him otherwise he didn't know his heart would handle it this time. He settled himself on his side and pulled her flush against him and he closed his eyes, falling asleep with the live of his life at his side.

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**A/****N: So Ruzek is on Antonio's side and pushed him to make a move. Now will Sylvie follow him to New York or are these two over for good this time? Please take a few seconds to review before you go, I really love reading your thoughts - Sarra**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

**A/N: Sorry I've been totally MIA lately. Been binging and obsessing over Arrow but I'm back and hope you guys are ready.**

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Saturday was here and Antonio found himself in his mostly empty apartment, closing up the very last boxes that the movers were scheduled to come pick up in only a couple of hours. He looked at his phone and he found it empty of any kind of traces of line from Sylvie. Since they had spent the night together and Antonio had poured his emotions out to her, it had been radio silence on her end. On more than one occasion, he tried to call but every time he was about to press on call, he chickened out of it. He wanted to give her space to think, without the added pressure but the longer she didn't reach out, the more his heart sank. He shut the box closed and taped it up, placing it with the ever growing pile in the corner. He moved to the kitchen to finish packing the kitchen and after one box, there was a knock on the door. He opened it, putting a hand in his pocket, Sylvie on the other side.

"Hey."

"Hey." He let her walk inside and closed the door behind her, placing his second hand in his pocket.

"It's almost time?"

"Yeah, the movers should be there in a couple hours." Antonio watched as she fidgeted in her spot, clearly nervous. "Hey, hey." He closed the distance between them and took her hand in his. "It's okay." He pulled her into an embrace and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm sorry Antonio." She let all the emotions of the last few days pour out of her and into Antonio's shirt.

"Don't ever apologize for this Sylvie, ever." Sure his heart was breaking into pieces right now but never could he blame her for taking this decision. "We will figure something out."

"I don't think I can do it." She was hurting and she loved him more than anything but she didn't know if she could do this long distance thing with Antonio without her heart breaking even more for what they had or what they could have had if he had stayed in Chicago.

"What are you saying?" He pulled away and held her at arms length.

"I love you Antonio, more than anything but I don't know if I can have you in my life if I can't have you completely. I don't know if my heart can survive it." Antonio's eyes were filled with tears that he refused to let fall and he wanted to be selfish with her and tell her that he wanted her in his life even if there was never going to have something between them but he just couldn't do it, his love for her too strong to let him do that to her.

"I will always love you Sylvie Brett, that will never change and it's going to be hard as hell but I accept your decision and I hope that you find happiness."

"Thank you." He kissed her one last time, remembering the taste of her lips and the way she felt in his arms before he let her go, this time maybe for good.

Sylvie could no longer contain the tears when she sat in her car, her breathing laboured from her broken heart and she made her way through the streets of Chicago with a blurry vision and a heart she wasn't sure she could piece together ever again. She found herself curled into a ball in her bed, her phone closed to avoid any distractions, her body taken over by sobs.

The movers came two hours later as scheduled and Antonio looked at the four walls of his apartment one more time before he drove off to New York for a new life without the love of his life.

Sylvie walked into fifty one the following morning and moved as a ghost, trying to avoid Foster and Kidd, knowing that they would want to know what happened to their friend but she wasn't ready to share and all she wanted was for the day to be filled with calls to avoid her friend's from snooping in her life. She changed and went directly to the board room for Boden's pre-shift meeting. She kept her head down and waited patient patiently for the day to start.

"Brett, where have you been? How did it go with Antonio." Sylvie's head shot of up at Kidd's voice and tears immediately clouded her vision but before she could tell her friend a lie, the rest of the house started filing in and when the pre-shift was interrupted by the bells, she used it as her excuse to avoid another talk with the girls.

"Hey, you okay?" Foster asked as she drove the ambulance towards the scene.

"I don't want to talk about it." She was looking out of the window and didn't want to face her partner, needing to focus on the calls they were going to get.

"I'm there when you do." Foster offered with a sad expression. She figured that Sylvie would open up when she was ready to.

Sylvie spent the whole shift hiding in the bunk room when they weren't on call, wishing for the day to be over so she could hide away in her apartment and not come out for air other than for shift. She grabbed her things and went through the back door to avoid the girls and Herrmann who had noticed the state she was in and she almost made it to her car when he caught up to her.

"Hey Brett, everything okay?" He stopped her gently with a hand on her arm.

"Yeah, everything is good Christopher." She kept her eyes trained to the floor, avoiding eye contact so she could make it through the whole shift without shedding a tear.

"Look Sylvie, I don't know what is going on with you but if you ever need anything, Cindy and I are there for you."

"Thank you." She finally looked up at him and gave him a teary smile in gratitude and he watched her go, his heart heavy for her. Clearly she was going through something but she was bottling everything up and with his experience, he knew it was just a matter of time before it exploded.

The following weeks saw Sylvie withdraw more onto herself, making her grocery stops during shift so she wouldn't have to get out of her house other than going to the firehouse to work and she had become the shadow of herself. Everyone had asked questions and Sylvie still refused to say it but Casey and the rest of 51 quickly found out what was going on with her and they tried to help her as much as she pushed the help away. Kidd and Foster watched her go one morning and knew that they had to do something.

"Whatever your cooking can't be good." Herrmann appeared besides them.

"Come on Herrmann, look at her. This isn't good for her."

"I know but can't force help on her if she doesn't want it."

"It's not about what she wants Herrmann, it's about what she needs at this point." Kidd argued. "Maybe Voight can help us get a hold of Antonio."

"Don't, absolutely not." He knew that Sylvie would be furious if she did such a thing but he did agree that they needed to do something. "Let me what I can find out first and we'll go from there." He wanted to talk to Cindy, maybe even get a hold of Gabby before they went the drastic route.

"Don't wait too long because I'm not sure how much longer she'll be able to survive." Kidd sighed. Herrmann patted her shoulder and left, sending a text to Gabby as he went.

Antonio came back home after a tough case and found a beer in his fridge, downing it in three go's. The move had gone smoothly but the following days had been hell for him. He couldn't get his final moments with Sylvie out of his head and the only way he knew to keep them at bay was to pour himself into his work. He went into SVU every morning and did the work, kept his head down and his focus on the cases but at home it was a different thing. Eva's transfer to NYU was only at the end of the semester and Diego wasn't going to be there for another few months and the silence that welcomed him every night did nothing to calm the voices in his head. One voice told him to call Sylvie just to check on her, the other one telling him that it was for the best, for both of them to have a clean break. Neither one was right but he refused to put the pressure on her so he let it play out and hoped that one day she would come back to him.

Sylvie walked into her place and found comfort in a steaming shower, trying to keep the pain away. Her brain had other ideas as it was, different scenarios going through her head as to how one phone call to New York would make the little resolve she had fade. She put her hair in a top bun and slipped into her bed for yet another tormented nap. When she woke up, it was as if she hadn't slept and deep down she knew that she couldn't continue like that but it was inevitable. She would eventually get over it, she knew that deep down but right now it was still as if it had happened the day before, the pain still extremely raw. She had asked a few extra days off following her usual 48h, not able to stand everyone's stares. Her freezer was filled with ice cream and she plopped down in front of a random show, a blanket thrown on her legs. She was half way through an episode when there was a knock on the door. She looked towards the offending sound but decided to ignore it, returning her eyes to the screen, hoping that the person on the other side would just give up. She resigned herself when the knocking only intensified and she finally threw the blanket away and stomped towards the door, a new found anger in her chest.

"Can't you get a fucking hint?" She swung the door forcefully open and was shocked to see who it was.

"Can't say that I do." The eyes were all Dawson but she had missed that smile more than she cared to admit.

"Gabby."

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**A/N: I'm sure you guys didn't see that one coming because I know that I didn't when I started writing this chapter after my lunch break. I really hope you guys like it and please leave a review before you go, your words mean the world to me. - Sarra**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who left a review on the previous chapter, it means a lot to me. I'm sorry I've been MIA but you guy know how life goes but here is the next chapter.**

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"Gabby?" Sylvie blinked, not sure if her eyes were deceiving her right now. "What? What are you doing here?" She stuttered, frozen in her doorframe.

"Christopher texted me and we talked and I couldn't stay away, this was too important." Her lips twitched into a smile as Sylvie's did the same and before she knew it, she was engulfed in a large hug by Sylvie.

"Thanks for coming." Gabby heard the slight quiver in Sylvie's voice and she knew that she had done the right thing to take the first flight out that she could.

"I'm always going to be there for you mermaid." She whispered the last word. Gabby pulled away slightly as Sylvie released her to close the door behind them.

"I don't know what Christopher told you." She plopped back down on the sofa at a loss. She hadn't told anything to anyone and the only two who knew anything were Kidd and Foster but she had remained mum on the details ever since.

"He's told me enough to know that you aren't the same since Antonio left the state to move to New York." She took the seat in the love chair facing Sylvie.

"I'm trying to move on, trying to get back to normal but I just can't seem to be able to do it. Tell me what I should do Gabby."

"You can't avoid what your heart wants Brett and I know I was totally weirded out the first time you started dating my brother but I haven't seem him happier than the last time the two of you were together and hiding your feelings certainly won't help."

"So you're telling me that I should move with him to New York?" Sylvie's mind was full of questions and she was already confused as it was.

"What I'm saying Sylvie is that maybe you should take some furlough and take a trip down New York to go see Antonio."

"Have you talked to him?"

"I did call him a couple of days back and I don't think he's doing as well as he's claiming."

"I'm just not sure that going to New York is going to make my heart hurt less." She ran her fingers through her hair.

"I know Sylvie but you can't continue going into the firehouse in the state your in. It's dangerous for you and for the victims."

"I know you're right, AHHH." Brett stood and started pacing under Gabby's gaze. "When did this get so screwed up?"

"The day you stopped listening to your heart." Gabby stood and came to face Sylvie, holding her at arms length. "Ask for the furlough, even if it's just to sort through your emotions but you need to think about what I said."

"I will. Thanks for the advice mermaid." She gave gabby a watery smile and pulled her back in for a hug.

"Alright, enough moping around, where is the Tequila?" Sylvie couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped her lips.

"Yeah." Sylvie got up and headed to grab the bottle from the shelf in the kitchen and the two girls caught up until the early morning hours.

Antonio slumped down at his desk, their case finally closed. He ran his hands over his face and took a few deep breaths. He hated cases involving children and not having Eva and Diego close to him made things all the more grim and he just needed to know that they were okay. He pulled his phone out of his top drawer and pulled Diego's contact and just as he was about to press send, he saw Olivia out of the corner of his eyes.

"Great work out there Dawson."

"Thanks Captain." He smiled but all he wanted to do was get the hell out of the and maybe grab a beer on his way back home and wallow, something he wasn't proud to say that was a common occurrence these days.

"How's the move treating you?" She placed her hands on his desk, waiting patiently for the answer she was hoping would be different from the lie he had been feeding her for weeks now.

Antonio looked into her eyes and decided to take another route. "It's harder than I thought." He leaned into chair. She gave him a sympathetic look before he continued. "Eva and Diego are moving in with me soon but until then y place just feels empty and my ex-girlfriend." He trailed off, suddenly in deep thought.

"I'm sorry to here that Dawson, if you need anything, my door is always open."

"I really appreciate it Captain."

"Hang in there." She tapped the desk and left Antonio alone with his thoughts again. He slipped the phone back in his pocket and grabbed his coat before heading out the door of SVU, ready to call it a night. He un-capped a beer as soon as he made it home and he found himself staring at the pictures on his fridge. The first one was of him with Eva and her acceptance letter, the biggest smile on both of their faces. The second one was with Diego on their last camping trip, Eva having snapped the picture as they made s'mores, Diego grinning. He missed them more than words could explain but his eyes lingered on the third one and suddenly he felt like the muscles around his heart constrict, reducing his ability to breathe. It was a picture of Sylvie the he had snapped at Molly's while she wasn't looking. She had been listening to a story Ruzek was telling while Kim was glued to his side, Sylvie's head thrown back in a laugh. He remembered taking the picture when it had been happy times for them as a couple and he absentmindedly reached for his phone and scrolled down to find her contact. He looked at it a few seconds before he actually grew the balls to make the call. He let it ring three times before he backed out and ended the call, turning it off and tossing it on the counter. He downed the rest of his beer and headed for the shower and hopefully a better night sleep than the last few.

Sylvie woke up with a major head ache, the glaring sun helping nothing to the pounding she was getting in her skull. She realized that she was sprawled on her couch with a leg hanging off and a blanket literally thrown on her body. The constant beeping of her phone wasn't helping anything but she knew it was a missed phone call so she reached blindly on the coffee table before her fingers curled around the offending object, pulling it closer to her face. She hazarded a peek and when she eyes what was on her screen, she nearly fell off of the couch and onto the floor.

"Gabby?" She called out, not seeing her best friend, almost thinking she had imagined all of last night.

"Brett, you okay?" Gabby poked her head around the wall of the kitchen.

"Yeah, No, I don't know." She stood up suddenly and the world around her started spinning and the wave of nausea that hit her from the sudden movement was doing nothing to help.

"What's wrong?" Gabby asked as she returned to the stove, Sylvie joining her in her frazzled state.

"This happened." She shook her phone in front of Gabby's face but Gabby only chuckled in response. "It's not funny Gabby."

"Well it might not be if you'd stop shaking in front of my face and tell me what it is."

"Antonio called."

"And?" Gabby didn't know how that was a bad thing.

"And did you call him last night after I passed out to tell him to call me?" It was an accusatory tone she was using.

"I'd never do anything like that, you know me better than that." She pointed her spatula in Sylvie's face. "But I'd say that it as good a sign as you'll get."

"I can't go to New York Gabby."

"What do you have to lose Sylvie?" She countered.

"My heart." The tears were sunnily back in her eyes and in that moment, Gabby regretted pushing. "I know that if I go there, I won't be able to stay away from him and that scares me more than anything else."

"It's okay to be afraid Sylvie but I know that your heart would be a lot more full if you aloud it to have a little of light." Gabby placed a steaming cup of coffee in front of her friend with a plate full of food and two Ibuprofens sitting next to a tall glass of orange juice. "Listen Brett I have to go because I promised Diego that we would grab lunch but I need you to at least think about what I said?"

"Okay I promise." She took a sip of coffee. "Do I get to see you again before you leave?"

"Sorry." Gabby pulled Sylvie in a hug that she gladly returned, wrapping her arms tightly around Gabby's waist. "But I love you and I miss you." She whispered in her ear.

"I miss you too." She mumbled against her neck. "Next time maybe I'll come see you in PR." She pulled herself out of Gabby's embrace.

"I'll look forward to it and I will bug the hell out of you until you book your ticket."

"I'd like that." She chuckled. "Thank you for coming Gabby."

"Always for you mermaid." She winked at her.

"Love you."

"Love you too." Gabby kissed Sylvie on the top of her head and squeezed her shoulder before she let herself out, giving Sylvie the space to recover from her hangover and think about what she had said.

The next couple of days before her return to 51, all she could do was think about what Gabby had told her. Going through the pros and cons of making that move, her mind was starting to get more and more muddled but she knew that the only way she could put an end to it was to confront it head on. She found Boden in his office as soon as she changed out, having his blessing for furlough on such a short notice so now all she had to do was to book her flight and iron out the small details. On the day of departure, her nerves were suddenly in overdrive as she went through the motions, her fingers crossed in the hopes that it wouldn't be a wasted trip, for so many reasons. She signed into her room mid-afternoon and because her stomach was so in knots, she couldn't for the life of her put some food in her system so she took the paper with Antonio's address and hailed a cab.

Antonio returned home after their last case it was well past two in the morning and he was exhausted. But no matter how exhausted he was, he slipped under a hot shower spray, trying to wash the last few days away. He had seen some crazy, fucked up shit in Chicago but working with SVU was something else entirely. But that's what made it even more fulfilling and that is what he was holding onto. He slipped on a pair of briefs and slipped into the covers, the sleep world and its nightmares accompanying him in a fitful sleep. He woke up later to a light knocking on his front door. He wasn't sure if he was imagining it or not but when it became a little more insisting, he slipped out of his bed and slipped into a pair of jeans before he made it to the front door.

"Whatever your selling I'm not interested." He grumbled but when his eyes met hers, he was like a dear in headlights. "Sylvie?" His voice caught in his throat, the surprise written all over his face.

"Hi." She gave him a small smile but in that moment, it was as if his whole world had stopped and now it was just the two of them.

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**A/N: SO I wanted to incorporate Gabby in my story because I miss her and even though I know of the reasons for her departure, I like to write her still invested in her friends life so I thought it was fitting. I hope you guys liked it and please take a few seconds to review before you go, your words mean the world to me - Sarra**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

**A/N: Alright so it seems that I am on a roll this week, making up for the past weeks where I was unable to get anything creative out of myself. So I picked up the first unfinished document I had and went with its, the idea flow coming out easily. I will always be a Brettonio ship no matter what anyone says so here's for all of you Brettonio shippers like me out there.**

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"What are you doing here?" His voice was filled with emotions as her name came out chocked up.

"I know it's late and all but I've been thinking a lot these last weeks and then you called and Gabby offered me some piece of advice and I couldn't stand it anymore, I had to come."

"You saw Gabby?" That was the only thing that he had taken out of the sentence. He was rooted in his spot.

"It was a total and utter surprise. I wasn't expecting her." She was still standing in the hallway of Antonio's apartment complex.

"I was starting to lose hope." He now whispered, finally coming to his senses.

"Can I come in?" She was ringing her fingers together, nervous to hear his answer.

"Oh yeah! Yeah, come in." He moved aside to let her in and he closed the door behind her.

"You've got a nice place here Antonio." She turned to look him in the eyes.

"Thanks. So you uh, want something to drink?"

"Whatever you've got is good." She assured him, taking a seat on his couch and following Antonio with her eyes as he entered his kitchen. She watched him move around and grab something out of his fridge, returning with two bottles of beer, handing her one. Their fingers brushed and Sylvie felt a shot of electricity travel all the way up tp her shoulders and straight through her heart.

"Sylvie." He asked tentatively. "What are you doing here?" His eyes were still trained on the bottle in his hands.

"After Gabby left, I did a lot of thinking about you, about us." The last word was enough for Antonio to look up and both sets of eyes met.

"What are you saying Sylvie?" He exhaled, afraid to get his hopes up. She took a long pull of her beer before she continued.

"I'm saying that I want to give us a shot."

"I can't come back to Chicago Sylvie." He knew that it was too good to be true. He put his bottle on the table and rose to his feet. "My life is here now and I've been trying to move on, start new here and it's working.

"Antonio, wait." She put her own bottle on the table and got up, walking around the table and placing her hand on Antonio's forearm. "What I'm saying is that I'm willing to give us a try, here." Her hand ghosted his cheek, afraid to touch him.

"But your life is in Chicago, your friends." He didn't finish his sentence, missing the words to finish.

"And you're here." Her hand finally pressed lightly against his cheek, Antonio closing his eye at the contact. "I'm willing to give it a try, if you still want me."

"That was never a doubt in my mind." His voice was hoarse with emotions. His hand moved to her face and he moved a strand of hair behind her ear. "Where are you staying?"

"A hotel nearby."

"Want to stay for breakfast?"

"Sure." She smiled, her hand falling from Antonio's cheek. "But maybe you should, eh." She pointed towards his chest making his eyes cast down and realize that he was still shirtless.

"Yeah, I'll be right back and I'll make breakfast for us." He hurried into his room to retrieve a shirt.

Sylvie wandered towards Antonio'S kitchen and started opening the fridge, pulling some ingredients out. She had to riffle through every cupboard to find cooking tools but when she had everything, she started frying some bacon and some eggs, dropping some bread in the toaster. Antonio slipped a t-shirt over his head and headed back towards the sound that was coming from the kitchen. He found Sylvie moving around in his kitchen as if she had been there before and he simply leaned against the doorframe and watched her. He still couldn't believe that she was standing here, in New York, in his apartment no less. He finally shook the feeling of domesticity the whole scene was giving him and walked towards her, placing his hands on her hips, Sylvie jumping slightly at the contact.

"I thought I said I would make breakfast." He whispered in the shell of her ear, enjoying the shiver he was creating down her spine.

"Well I thought I could do it, given the intrusion into your life I just made." She had stopped mid stride when he said the words.

"It's not called an intrusion when I've dreamed of having you in my kitchen since the day I got here."

"Are we doing the right thing Antonio?" She moved everything aside and turned the stove off before turning in his arms.

"I can't promise you that it's going to be easy because I would be lying to you but it'S always the right thing when I'm with you." He leaned down and kissed her gently. He raised his hands to cup her cheeks gently and deepened the kiss, Sylvie's body moving towards Antonio's of its own accord. They kissed until air became an issue.

"How about we eat before it gets cold?" She smiled.

"You are not getting out of this discussion that easily."

"I'm not but I would prefer eat while we have it." She said.

"Okay." He helped her put everything in plates and they decided on eating on the couch while they talked. "So how much furlough did you use to come up here?" He didn't waste time asking her questions.

"Chief told me to take all the time I need but officially, two weeks."

"What did you tell him exactly?"

_"__Chief, do you have a minute?" She poked her head in his office._

_"__Sylvie, come on in, have a seat." He sat behind his own desk and looked at her. "What can I do for you?"_

_"__I know that I haven't been here here lately and I had a visit from Gabby last night."_

_"__I didn't know that Gabby was in town." It was a surprise to Boden, Casey not having mentioned anything about it._

_"__I didn't know she was either. She knocked on my door and I was totally thrown off guard but we talked and she made me realize some things and I couldn't ignore the pain in my heart anymore."_

_"__Does this have to do with a certain brother of his that is in New-York?" He leaned forwards against his desk._

_"__Yeah. I need to find out of I can make it work there, with him. I know it's extremely short notice but I was wondering if I could maybe grab some furlough and fly up there, try to get my head on straight?"_

_"__51 is a family Sylvie and we look out for each other and if that's something that your heart and mind wants and that you'Re sure, we'll be behind you one hundred per cent."_

_"__Thanks Chief, it really means a lot to me."_

_"__I'll put in a request for a PIC starting next shift."_

_"__Thank you Chief." She stood from her chair. "I'll keep you updated while I'm up there."_

_"__Take care of yourself."_

_"__Will do Chief." She took her leave, needing to make some plans to leave._

"You know how Chief Boden is. He knows stuff before you come out and say it."

"That man knows it all."

"So I planned everything and flew in, not even knowing if I was still welcome here."

"You were always going to be welcome here, wether we were together or not."

"I don't think it would have been the same." Her eyes were brimming with tears. "I was reckless these past few weeks on the job and I couldn't make sense of anything since you left." She put her plate aside and pulled her knees up tp her chest. "And I'm not the kind of girl to be dependant of a guy like that." She trailed off.

"Trust me, these past week have been chaos for me too and I threw myself into my work just to try to keep going until the kids moved in with me. It's been a challenge being here alone and I resigned myself to the fact that you wouldn't be part of it." He set his own plate aside, his desire for food no longer present. He stood and extended his hand for Sylvie to take and pulled her up to him.

"I'm not even sure I can build a life here Antonio."

"How about we try figuring it out for the next two weeks and then we can go from there?"

"Okay."

"Okay so I say that I kiss you and we spend the rest of the day just hanging out and playing it by ear. How does that sound to you?"

"I say I can get behind that." She smiled as he leaned down and captured her lips in a kiss. She granted his tongue passage between her lips as he began exploring the inside of her mouth as if it was the first kiss they shared. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she did the same around his neck and he guided her towards his room, their lips never separating. They parted as air became necessary and Antonio pushed her shirt over her head and discarded it on the floor. She did the same with his and she pushed him gently on his bed, straddling his hips and finding his lips again. She shivered lightly as Antonio ran his fingers against her back and ground her hips against his, a groan escaping his lips and a chuckle escaping hers. "So impatient." She kissed her way down to his neck and his fingers found her soft curls.

"I've been more than patient these past months." He closed his eyes, her tongue parting between her lips and her teeth nipping at his neck.

"We have all day to get to know each other better." She smiled against his skin but the ringing of his phone interrupted them. He knew by the ringtone that it was Benson calling.

"Sorry, I have to take that." He kept his left hand to her hip as he extended his body to grab his phone off his night stand. "Dawson." He threw his head back in exasperation as he listened to the information that he was given. "Yeah, I'll be right in." He ended the call and slammed his phone against the night stand. "I'm sorry I have to go, we caught a lead on an old case." Sylvie moved off of him so he could change, propping herself on her hand.

"It's okay, I'll go grab my stuff at the hotel and come back here. I'll wait for you."

"Check out of that hotel and come with all your things here." He leaned down on the bed and kissed her.

"Antonio." She didn't know if that was the best idea at that very moment.

"I'm not going to let you pay all that money when I have a place for you to stay." He insisted. "And trust me, I'm not letting you out of my sight so easily."

"Fine, okay." She chuckled. "Just promise me that you'll be careful out there."

"You know I always am." He kissed her again. "I'll call you if the case drags on."

"Okay. I love you." He was stunned momentarily before a smile etched on his lips.

"I love you too." He slipped his gun holster on and with another kiss, he left her alone in his place. She dropped herself on her back and sighed. First, she had to go grab her things at the motel she had rented and bring everything back here. It took her about two hours to navigate through the streets and find her way back to Antonio's apartment after buying some food for dinner. When she got back, she simply dropped her things next to Antonio's bedroom door before she found his laptop and started skimming for information about the FDNY. There was one thing that she could control and this was it so she spent part of the afternoon looking through their website and making phone calls, hoping that Antonio's case wouldn't drag too long and allow them to spend some more time together.

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**A/N: So Sylvie finally made it to New York and while I don't expect things to exactly go smoothly in this decision both Sylvie and Antonio decided to make, I'm looking forward to make them go on this journey together. Please take a few seconds to review before you go, I always love to hear your thoughts - Sarra**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

**A/N: I want to take time to thank everyone who left reviews and have been super patient with the inconsistency of my posting. Here is a new one and it's for my friend Mandi.**

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It was barely dawn and Sylvie could no longer sleep. She had an appointment with Chief Masson of the FDNY at ten, but she couldn't stop her mind from going a mile a minute. She knew it was mostly a technicality but she didn't want to blow her chance to take the right decision.

"You're worrying too much." Antonio whispered against her back. He pulled her closer into his chest, slipping a hand under her shirt.

"I can't help it." She turned on her back and sighed.

"Why are you so worried?"

"I don't know." She placed a hand on her forehead, closing her eyes. "Am I making the right decision?"

"There isn't a right or wrong here baby." He propped himself on his hand and looked at her. "What did Boden say?"

"He said he'd be behind me no matter what I decided."

"You're overthinking this way too much." He pushed a strand of hair out of her face. "Just meet with the chief at FDNY and just go from there."

"What if it's the wrong decision?"

"Your gut usually never fails you so go see what it says and how you feel about it."

"So full of insight." She turned on her side and snuggled back into him, burying her head in his chest.

"I try." He kissed the crown of her head. "What time are you meeting the chief?"

"Chief Masson? Ten."

"Come meet me at the SVU offices for lunch after your meeting?"

"You want me to meet your new team?"

"Well they need to meet the person that put a smile back on my face."

"Ok." She didn't want to push about the transition since he left right now because they were in a good, comfy place but she kept her questions in her head for later. "Maybe I should get up to make some food." She tried to pull away from his embrace but Antonio kept a firm grip on her.

"Too early for food. We don't have to go anywhere just yet." He slipped his hands under her shirt and over her back.

"Don't you have to go in early?" She chuckled as his hands went further up and were more insistent.

"Not this early, it's barely seven." He nuzzled her neck.

"Okay I give in." She ran her hands though his hair. "Maybe we should work a bigger appetite." She moaned when he bit down gently on her neck.

"That's a great idea." He flipped them and pinned her under him. "Because right now food is the last thing on my mind." He dipped down and kissed her. He kissed his way down as his hand raised her shirt over her body and over her head. She was only wearing panties and he wished he didn't have to leave for work, wishing he could stay in bed, naked with her all day.

"You know, the more we do this, the more I'm convinced this is the right move." She chuckled as she rolled on her back panting.

"Definitely the right move." He dipped his head and kissed her. "I'm not going to try to influence you one way or the other, but I know you'll like it here. This city is something else."

"We'll just have to wait and see what Chief Masson has to say. I don't even know if I can transfer out. There are so many different regulations in each state."

"I know but I'm sure they can help you out." He pushed some hair out of her face

"Two more hours and a half." She put her arm over her forehead. Antonio could see that she was running on nerves and it was understandable. He had his own reservations when we arrived there, but he needed that change to get a new lease on life and he was no longer regretting it.

"I have to get going." He kissed her again.

"Okay." She pouted. She really wished he could give her some more strength but keeping him here made her selfish and that wasn't her. She stayed in bed while he showered and propped herself on her hand wand watched as he got ready. She followed him with her eyes and couldn't stop the smile that spread on her lips. "Please be careful out there."

"I am." He sat on the side of the bed, slipping his service arm in the holster that was strapped around his shoulders.

"I know but this is New York, it's new territory for you and there are a lot of variables here."

"I know but the SVU team had my back, so you don't have to worry. I'll see you at lunch?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't miss it." They kissed one last time before he went

"I love you."

"I love you too." She watched as he left, and she dropped her body against the mattress. She stayed in bed a little bit longer before heading into the shower to freshen up and eat before her meeting. She was a jumble of nerves when she hailed a cab and gave the driver the address. The closer she got, the more they took over. When the cab stopped in front of the building, she could feel her heartbeat in her ears.

Sylvie stood in front of the FDNY headquarters, her heart thumping loudly in her chest. She was nervous to go in and find out if they had something to offer her. If that was the case, it would bring a sort of finality to her situation. She knew that she didn't want to live away from Antonio ever again, so this was her chance to have a future with him. She took a deep breath and walked up the stairs. The lobby was a wide-open space with a large front station and there was a middle-aged woman working the front desk.

"My name is Sylvie Brett; I have an appointment with Chief Masson."

"He's waiting for you. Second door on the left sweetie."

"Thank you." She smiled and followed the directions, knocking on the frosted front door. She took a couple of deep breaths before she was called inside. "Chief Masson."

"Sylvie Brett." He stood and extended his hand for her to shake. "What can I do for you?" He asked as he gestured the chair for her to sit in.

"I'm a PIC in Chicago and I was looking to see if there's something for me here." She was nervous and she wasn't sure.

"I got an interesting phone call from Chief Boden a couple of days back."

"You know Chief Boden?" She knew that people from fire departments from different cities knew each other but they were far from Chicago and she had trouble connecting the dots.

"We've had the pleasure of working together during the 9/11 attacks. Great man."

"Yes sir, he is and he's a great Chief. He was gracious to give me some time to come here and see what options I had."

"We've got a great department here and we're always looking for experienced personnel. Chief Boden speaks highly of you." Sylvie blushed under the compliment that she wasn't sure she deserved but the fact that he had put in a good word for her meant a lot to her.

"Thank you, sir. I was looking to get a little more information of the way I can apply to the department." He turned in his chair and pulled an envelope.

"I've included all of the information you need in here if you wish to move forward." Boden had given the other man his thoughts on the matter and he was glad to help as much as he could.

"Thank you." She extended a shaking hand and took the envelope. "I really appreciate you taking the time to meet with me." She stood up and they shook hands.

"Anything for Chief Boden." He smiled at her. "Take your time and think it over. All you need to know is in there. Good luck."

"Thank you." She took her leave and exhaled deeply after closing the door behind her. She thanked the woman at the front desk before returning to the crisp New York air. She looked at her watch and realized that it was almost lunch time, so she hailed a cab and gave the man the SVU office address. She looked at the city passing her by while her head kept turning with thoughts and decisions she had to make. She wanted to share everything with Antonio and a part of her felt the need to talk it over with people back home, or at the very least with Boden because it was a huge decision about her future.

She suddenly became self-conscious when she walked into the SVU offices. Its reputation preceded it and a small part of her was intimidated by it all.

"Can I do something for you miss?" Someone noticed her looking lost.

"Yes, I'm sorry." She smiled at him. "I'm looking for detective Antonio Dawson."

"Just a moment." He disappeared through a metal door and a few minutes later, he returned with Antonio tagging behind him.

"Hey baby, you made it." He kissed her quickly and pulled her towards the same door he had come from. "Come on, I want you to meet the team." When he walked through the door, the rest of the team had scattered out for a lead while the rest waiting for the go and Antonio knew he didn't have a lot of time ahead of him. "Captain." He knocked on her doorframe.

"Dawson." She smiled at him and looked at Sylvie.

"I'd like you to meet my girlfriend Sylvie Brett." Benson smiled at Sylvie and stood.

"Welcome to New York." They shook hands. "Any plans of moving here?" She knew a bit of Antonio's backstory, but he hadn't been sharing all that much since arriving, but he had changed drastically in the last two days.

"I'm still looking into it."

"We have a great city here and Dawson's been more focused lately." She insinuated the change was a direct result of having her in town.

"I'm glad he has a good team here." She had heard about SVU and they had come to Chicago to help on cases in the past.

"He's been a great addition." She took a seat back at her desk. "It's been nice meeting you."

"Likewise." Sylvie smiled back at her and Antonio pulled her out and they came face to face Rollins.

"Is this Sylvie Brett?" She extended her hand and Sylvie shook it.

"Yeah, that's me." Sylvie smiled broadly.

"Amanda Rollins." She looked at Antonio and left them, stopping at Sylvie's shoulder level. "You've been good for him." She whispered to her and left them.

"Come on, let's go eat before the rest of the team comes back and it jumps up." He guided her to their break room and took out the two sandwiches he had bought earlier in the morning.

"So, what did Chief Masson say?" He prodded as they ate in the break room.

"I have to fill in these forms and they will get back to me." Antonio pulled the papers out of the envelope and skimmed over them.

"It looks pretty simple. Where's your head at?"

"I have no idea." She sighed. "So many things going on in there." She pointed at her head.

"Why don't you just go spend the afternoon in town, think it over and we can talk about it later tonight?"

"I think I just might." She smiled at him and they ate in light conversation, Sylvie telling him how things were going at home. It didn't take very long for the team to return and they didn't get to finish lunch but with a promise to talk at home, Sylvie let Antonio work and she took a cab to the center of the city where she shopped and took it all in before returning to Antonio's place where she made herself dinner with what was in the cupboards. Her eyes were glued to the envelope Chief Masson had given her as she ate and it felt like it was looking at her, taunting her. She pushed her plate aside when her appetite stopped agreeing with her and she pulled it to her. She pulled the for forms out that read Reciprocity on them and found a pen. Her hand shook and for a few seconds, her pen stood still against the sheet, leaving a small ink spot. She took a deep breath and started filling the form that would alter her course.

* * *

**A/N: So Sylvie takes the leap and starts the procedures to ****transfer to New York but is that the right decision for her or is it more than she bargained for? Please take a few seconds to review before you go, your thoughts mean the world to me. - Sarra**


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